The Hope

The teacher said,

You have potential

You can all go places

Just believe in it

And you will know

How would he know?

I am a high school student at Belmont high, been in Belmont since fourth grade,

Was born in East Hartford, then moved to a small town in Connecticut now here.

I think I am a laid back person in this crazy school filled of vocal people who will tell you what they think even if they don’t know what they are saying .

I try to keep quiet, but people like to talk which I don’t stand for they need to do their own thing and not come in mine.

I do try to keep active, keeps my mind from wandering off where it’s not supposed to.

School and family are really what I try to focus on…

until I get talked to about someone’s issues now I’m there therapist until it’s done.

Belmont is a small town, nothing to do, same old people you see

But there is something that drags most people here and keeps them stuck,

Just wish someone knew what that was.

And then there are the others that dread the day they step foot here

They try and try to crawl their way out but fall deeper in the more they do.

I’m an insider and outsider all at once never knowing my place.

I like to dance and play other sports, like volleyball and softball.

I’ve always played rough probably to rough,

got some pretty thick skin from it

I like to be me and feel free as I do my own thing.

I have always been supported even when I’m not sure I deserve it,

My mother goes through all sorts of things to bring a giant smile to my face.

For her I am forever grateful.

I have never been considered the smart one, but I have been considered the clever one

I take that as a win.

I don’t really like school

I considered it learning useless stuff when I already know what I want.

I consider myself a go getter, I see something I want I go for it

When I’m not scared of what will happen.

I feel I’m seen as unapproachable,

People see a hard exterior but not my interior

I have a lot to offer, I feel I'm given the chance.

And if I don’t blow it.

I’ve trusted wrong and pushed others away, because I’m afraid of what they will really think and of getting hurt.

I haven’t had the easiest time growing up you hear things loud things you probably shouldn’t

See things that should probably not be witnessed

Been loud when probably should have stayed quite or

Have stayed quiet when probably should have spoken out

It has been a bumpy ride from the start,

but it is apparte of me and makes me me.

I think how could this teacher see more in me than I do.

How could people say they get me when I don’t get me.

What if people believe in a false me

Create an image of me I want to see, but not me.

I feel like my mind runs around trying to figure it out

I worry myself, keep it hidden perfect smile and carry on.

Pretending I live the same life as everyone

avoiding personal conversations with others who want to know.

I have been hoping something will change and it will be perfect that’s not it.

I think what is wrong

What’s so difficult

It’s me.

I have been isolating my feelings, myself, others

Not realizing the unspoken consequence

Doing more harm than resolving the issues.

I have to let change in and let it grow,

I’ve learned how people say they see me can be the case

But not always, sometimes it’s someone who doesn’t know me

And others it’s someone I didn’t even know who gets me more than I do.

So I will now open and grow, trust myself and try to make extraordinary changes

To be the changes I want to be

And to be me.

And free.